I woke up at 3:20 in the morning with a racing heartbeat and thoughts all over the place. Thinking about smells, and my body, and did it work, and did it not work, and what do I do, over and over and over again.
I finally had to take a slug of Nyquil to knock myself back into sleep.
This morning I feel shaky and anxious, and unclear what to do with myself, or about it, or even if there is anything to be done.
I guess I could go buy a test and take it and start the grieving process today instead of working. But what good is that?
What good is any of it.
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