Waiting

"So it's Day 2, right?"

"No," I said patiently. "It's day negative one. My period's due tomorrow. They told me to come in anyway."

"Oh." More probing. "Yeah, I don't think we'll be able to start the cycle tonight."

"Well that makes sense given that I haven't had my period yet, because it's DUE TOMORROW."

"We'll see what the blood work says." 

*later*

"So it looks like maybe your ovulation predictor was off? Because you're still in luteal phase."

"I know. My period's not due til tomorrow."

"The hormones suggest it will be later than that, maybe this weekend."

"Okay."

"So just come in on Day 2, whenever that is, or next Wednesday if you haven't gotten it yet."

"Great."

*click*

"I'm not starting tonight, because I don't have my period yet. Shocker."

"Good thing you cut your vacation short because they told you to come in," said L.

"I have the same conversation with them every. Single. Time. I ovulate on day 10 or 11. I menstruate on day 28. They're always shocked! That's more like a 21 day cycle, they say. Well, shit, it's 28! Oh my God! Who knew? Could it be that the fact that my cycle isn't what you expect is somehow related to the fact that I am INFERTILE? HUH?"

"I know."

*sigh*

"I know."