Yesterday my last houseguest left. Now it's just L and the Ward and Puppy and me.
Late last night, as all three were asleep, I gave in to self-pity and spent some time weeping on the bathroom floor. The tiles were cool, and though I told myself I was crying because my cramps were bad, the truth is my cramps are always bad and there's nothing particularly special about it. The truth is, I was disappointed. And tired. And socially exhausted.
But mostly, disappointed.
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
Monday, July 24, 2017
Late
I'm three days late.
I was due Friday. It's now Monday.
On Friday, I took a pee test. It was negative.
I took another one Saturday. It malfunctioned.
I have no tests left. Til Wednesday, when a new kit arrives via Amazon, though it will probably be moot by then, as I explained to my friend J, feeling certain that nothing will bring my period on faster today than if I go to the trouble to order more tests.
Those puppies are expensive. How much have I spent on sticks to urinate on alone, in the past four years? Probably a few hundred dollars.
I feel vaguely ill-at-ease and crampy. This could, according to the internet, mean almost anything. It could as easily mean yes as it could mean my period is imminent. Which it probably is. Right?
But even so. Three days late.
A calendar review confirms this is the latest I have been this year. In January I was two days late. There was day of, the next day, and then the day after that it came. This time I'm day of, Saturday, Sunday, and now it's Monday.
What do I want the answer to be, is the question. Hard to know. Hard to decide in the midst of so much uncertainty. Hard not to examine and over-analyze.
I was due Friday. It's now Monday.
On Friday, I took a pee test. It was negative.
I took another one Saturday. It malfunctioned.
I have no tests left. Til Wednesday, when a new kit arrives via Amazon, though it will probably be moot by then, as I explained to my friend J, feeling certain that nothing will bring my period on faster today than if I go to the trouble to order more tests.
Those puppies are expensive. How much have I spent on sticks to urinate on alone, in the past four years? Probably a few hundred dollars.
I feel vaguely ill-at-ease and crampy. This could, according to the internet, mean almost anything. It could as easily mean yes as it could mean my period is imminent. Which it probably is. Right?
But even so. Three days late.
A calendar review confirms this is the latest I have been this year. In January I was two days late. There was day of, the next day, and then the day after that it came. This time I'm day of, Saturday, Sunday, and now it's Monday.
What do I want the answer to be, is the question. Hard to know. Hard to decide in the midst of so much uncertainty. Hard not to examine and over-analyze.
Saturday, July 22, 2017
Symptoms
What I have:
Sore breasts
Indigestion
Mild cramping, intermittent
Mild bloating, same
One day late period
One negative pregnancy test, taken day of expected period (yesterday morning)
Mild nausea, intermittent
Anxiety (duh, near constant)
Late night heart burn
A flat tire on the car
Fifty thousand words of new novel
What I don't have:
Any idea what the deal is
A book deal
Kids
Now what?
Sore breasts
Indigestion
Mild cramping, intermittent
Mild bloating, same
One day late period
One negative pregnancy test, taken day of expected period (yesterday morning)
Mild nausea, intermittent
Anxiety (duh, near constant)
Late night heart burn
A flat tire on the car
Fifty thousand words of new novel
What I don't have:
Any idea what the deal is
A book deal
Kids
Now what?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)