Some recent remarks

 Last night, in bed reading books, apropos of nothing:

"I used to be an old old old timey shoemaker."

"You did?"

"Yes. I used to sew half a side of shoes by hand. It took me a long long time and I wanted to go home. Then my friend came to work with me and I was happy. Now I'm not an old timey shoemaker anymore."

"What are you now?"

"Now I'm a fancy shoemaker."

[This conversation has led me to assume that our house is haunted by a cordwainer, FYI. But your dad thinks you've been reading too many Early American Trades coloring books before bed.]

And last week, some remarks on my outfit for a holiday party:

"Mama, what's that black stuff on your eyes? Your eyes look different."

"Don't worry, it will wash right off."

"How will you wash it off?"

"With soap."

"Can you wash it off right now?"

[Then, a few minutes later....]

"Mama, if you wear your pointy shoes in the street you're going to punch holes in it."

[And finally.....]

"Mama, your boobs look like they're trying to get out of your dress."